BBB Challenge 2010 – Day 3

Kali's Dance I

Today’s Big Bad Blogger Challenge is especially relevant to me right now, and I am dementedly tickled at what came to mind for the photos. Of course, not everything is all that it seems, and my answers on virtual relationships might surprise people, familiars and strangers.

Kali's Dance II

SL Bloggers – How hard do you think it is to find a relationship in SL? If you have an SL relationship, have you met in the physical world? Would you meet them? Do you think it would change your SL relationship if you met?

The ‘how hard’ aspect depends a great deal on environmental and motivational contexts. Being in SL for a social reason than business, educational, or creative purposes is more likely to land you in a situation where you will find a relationship. If you are in social environments designed to encounter partner material (i.e., a romantic club) for you as opposed to situations where it’s more neutral or friend-promoting (i.e., a shopping expo). Furthermore, if you are engaged in activities that involve partnering (i.e. roleplays that allow character romance), you are more likely to find someone. These are only a few contextual components that are very broad; each individual will have their own set of nuanced contexts that make it ‘easy’ or ‘hard’. This is true for SL or RL.

I have had SL relationships, with one romantic partner. I did meet that romantic partner in person, and I’ve chatted with others through Skype. It does change the relationship, as it further brings in a personal (and vulnerable) element to the interaction. Most of us don’t create (or actively use) avatars that look like our RL selves, so that revelation can have a variable impact for each party.

Kali's Dance III

RL Bloggers – Would you start a relationship with someone you met online? Would you have a problem telling people that’s where you met? Do you think it’s easier to meet someone online rather than at work or at a club?

Having said my piece on SL relationships, I am not looking to start a relationship that crosses into RL any more. I am using a dating site for RL, but I plan on going on dates with those people on the physical plane. At this point in my life, I need someone I can hug, kiss, and generally be in their presence. Furthermore, my experience with romantic and romantically inclined relationships on SL tends to have my partner go bat-shit insane. One individual actually claims that they’re nobility in a European country and staunchly stands by the fact that he doesn’t have to support this with evidence; another had issues on managing friends versus romantic interests, sought to hide things, and claimed to be in a car accident that sent him into wild fits of rage (the last episode he chased me about messaging systems yelling insults at me for calling it off).

I didn’t have a problem telling people how I met my SL/RL partner at the time, and I don’t think I’d have a problem in the rare occurrence it happened in the future. As for the level of ease, please see the answer provider for SL relationships.

Kali's Dance IV

(Oh, and if one particular “reader” sees this… I know you created a toon on my server to be nicey-nice to me. As a psyc major, I know how to do research. I’m glad you didn’t waste both our times by continuing that facade.)

So why these pictures? As probably inferred, SL relationships have left a sour taste in my own mouth, and I wanted to show that. Kali, a Hindu goddess commonly associated with death and destruction, immediately came to mind as how I could do so. She is a consort of Shiva and is often depicted standing over him with one foot on his chest. This black figure in mythology isn’t one-sided, however- through certain processes, she is connected with creation, salvation, and maternal care. For me, she depicts the end of a period of SLife for me and moving onward. It’s been a brutal process for me, but at the end of the day, I’ve found myself standing tall on the battlefield.

Bottom: Feles Skirt – Midnight from *Haven Designs*
Head: Skull Nosebridge (chin) from Ommik [no longer in world]
Mouth: Bone Collector Lip Piercing from Nomine
Ears: Carmen Macumba earrings (skull) from comme il faut [no longer in world]
Neck: Carmen Macumba necklace (skull) from comme il faut [no longer in world]
Wrists: Deathrock Candy Bracelets from +DV8+
Hands: Dual Blades E from ->Bitter Thorns<-
Tattoo: BLOODY MESS  Bloody flesh from +Fallen Gods Inc.+ [former hunt item]
Hair: Breeze 8ball from Exile
Eyes: Plasmid: SE Fae from ][.House of Ruin.][
Skin: Cabal: Maitri (sky) *{Limited Edition}* from ][.House of Ruin.][
Poses from: [Long Awkward Pose]
Locations: Photo I –
All other photos –

~ by Terry Toland on June 15, 2010.

2 Responses to “BBB Challenge 2010 – Day 3”

  1. […] Lifestyles of the Broke and Notorious […]

  2. love it

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